Back Again

Most of you know I've spent the last 18 months battling an as yet unidentified and unexplained back problem. Whilst there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon (I have recently found somewhere willing to give me a proper x-ray) I learned two bits of unfortunate news today.

First I visited my GP to refill my prescription of Diazepam, a small dose of which is handy if I have a particularly bad day or night, or need to travel or attend a conference. Dr. Pickering is strange about doing this, he always makes the same joke - "I guess we can safely say you're not addicted to it then". It's one of those remarks that's supposed to be rhetorical, but it always feels like I'm supposed to respond in some way. But how exactly does one respond? Does he really expect me to say 'No, I'm not a drug addict', or maybe I should say 'Just give me the goddam drugs old man!' (obviously not, but it would be fun to watch his face). Anyway, my other reason to visit was to ask him about Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). As a knock-on effect to my dodgy back, I've been experiencing pain in my arms and shoulders, which is clearly related to my computer habits (it gets worse when I type and better when I don't). He groaned when I asked him what he knew. It turns out he's the 'Occupational Health' doctor for the university. 'Oh good', I foolishly thought, 'he'll know all about it'. He said he would arrange to get me into the Occupational Health centre, which is technically only open to staff, to get some 'bumph'. When he said this - he didn't ask me any questions about my problem, what I was feeling, what I knew about it, what I was doing about it - my heart sank. Was this going to be useful? Or was it just going to be a load of stuff I already know? I should have been more assertive then and there of course, but I didn't want to seem rude, since he was doing me a favour of sorts.

Well, I wasn't surprised to find that the material I got was an extremely poor, misleading or just plain misguided version of all the things I've already read and known about for over a year now. Get up and stretch, position your monitor thus, blah de bloody blah. Heard it, done it chapter and verse, and got the pain anyway!

So far, I've found my doctor to be a nice chap, genuinely concerned about my problem and eager to help, even though he regularly reminds me that his own knowledge about back pain is almost non-existent. (This in itself is sort of astounding, given that every statistic I've ever seen puts the number of people experiencing back pain in their lifetime at between 6 and 8 out of 10... isn't that something GPs should know a bit about?). But this time I felt a bit disappointed in him for underestimating me in such an unflattering way. I mean, he knows he's sitting opposite a PhD student who spends most if not all of his time researching. It's what I'm good at, it's probably my primary way of entering and exploring the world. Does he really think I would come in asking about RSI knowing nothing? I've read extensively on the subject, and as it turns out, it looks like I know more than he does - and he's the bleeding occupational health doctor for the university!

This is a mistake a lot of people seem to make about academics. I know there are lots of us who actually do live in ivory towers where all we think, talk and read about is our subject, be it Iranian pottery or the mating habits of octopi. But there are also quite a lot of us who actually live in the world and put our skills to practical use on a daily basis. The academics I know are generally very astute consumers for example, because they like to learn all about a type of product, read reviews, know how it works, etc. before they buy it.

Anyway, ranting aside, on occasions when I despair of the National Health Service I console myself with the admittedly dim possibility that with a US citizen for a partner, it may be that if things get really bad I can go and try my luck with the US health care system. But reading this article today I realised I was being silly - no company is going to insure me for a problem like this, not when I've had it for years without anyone having the foggiest clue how to diagnose, never mind treat it. And by the sound of it this is an increasingly common problem in the US.

So maybe I should be looking to get a job in France or something, since they are supposed to have a healthcare system that works (although it sounds like it's one of the last things that does!). I could take up deconstruction, coffee and smoking. I think I'd prefer a hacking cough and regular headaches to this constant, unfathomable back ache.